Tuesday, July 6, 2010
The Bachelor[ette] And Broken Relationships
I saw a bit of the interview between the recent Bachelor, his ex-girl, and the host. Unfortunately, they can't see eye to eye anymore. I'd like to comment on why I think that they fail.
I think that the romantic feelings that they feel at first are similar to a drug induced high. Those feelings, when experienced with another person, can really create a misconception.
Unfortunately, life happens, and these people begin to experience problems. Early on in the relationship, do they realize that have completely different expectations and ways of behaving? I doubt it. We are all individuals, and we all come from different cultures. Therefore, of course, we're going to have different ways of doing things.
I thnk that a healthy relationship needs time to grow, and time for the couple to gain experience in dealing with each other. These TV relationships, and presumably all modern relationships, don't give enough time for these things.
My suggestion to all of people is to kill the romance, at first. There will be time for that, later. Focus on the essentials. Focus on getting experience with each other. Focus on solving lots of problems together. Try getting each other to do stuff. That's a great way of flushing out conflict. Notice that I didn't suggest that you create conflict. The goal is to eliminate it, and the only way to do that, is to deal with conflict as soon as possible.
Once you both get good at dealing with awkward situations, then bring on the romance. Creating romantic feelings in each other is a gift. Save that gift for somebody you love.
Just so that you know, I'm the last person that should be giving relationship advice, but you probably already knew that. ;^P
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